As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups.
4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
E Pluribus Modem
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
<-------- The information went data way
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium
BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...Coincidence???
The name is Baud, James Baud.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory...
Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah!
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk??
C:\Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
Ultimate office automation: Net-worked coffee.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'
Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?
All computers wait at the same speed.
Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Go ahead, make my data!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender: Insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
DOS Tip #1701: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
Press <CTRL-ALT-DEL> to continue
E-mail me at mfoster@hal-pc.org with any comments you have and tell me what you want to see here.
Back to the Magazine Home Page
Last modified: 2003:06:05