Homecoming
a sermon delivered by Sandra Lydick on
December 28, 2003
to the Saginaw UMC

 I too would like to welcome you this morning to Saginaw United Methodist Church.  I served here as an Associate Pastor 13 years ago, and when Mel invited us to come to the Cantata last December, we were delighted to return to this church where we had felt loved, nurtured, and part of a faith community.  That Sunday last December, as well as the Cantata this year, was magnificent, and church members welcomed us and made us feel right at home.  When I was here as an associate, I often told myself that Saginaw would be a great place to retire.  Well, Larry has retired, and I hope to someday, and we have made our home in this community.  Here on the altar are a few of the special gifts that you gave when I was here.  These are treasures, not because of the tangible gift, but the memories that they represent.  This is a cross made of quilling by Catherine Wakefield.  And these are pictures that Dee Griffith put together for a memory book – most of you look even younger than you still do now.  This is a picture of a group of us who went on a march against violence after one of my sermons.  Here is a picture of the ground-breaking for the Education Building.  And this one I really like, a refrigerator magnet angel that says “How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?”

 When Mel asked me to preach this Sunday I felt honored, and then I remembered the only advice I’ve given him  “When I was preaching I tried to never have any one preach who’s a better preacher than I am.”  So now I’m wondering if he took my advice or whether he ignored it!

 My current job is working as a chaplain and a licensed master social worker with children ages birth to three who have developmental delays because of medical problems, mental health, or behavioral difficulties and with their families who may need support, parent education, or counseling.  One of the therapists and teachers who has helped me in my personal journey as well as providing great insight for practicing psychotherapy, is Stephen Gilligan.  This morning I’d like to share a few ideas I’ve learned from him that may be helpful in walking our spiritual path.

 Our scripture reading this morning is from Luke 9:46-48.  “And an argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest.  But when Jesus perceived the thought of their hearts, he took a child and put him by his side, and said to them, ‘Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me; for he wo is least among you all is the one who is great’.”  I love working with children because they are so themselves!  Totally in the moment.  Practically every emotion known to human kind cycles through all two year olds at least once every 24 hours.  They can be having a complete melt down screaming crying, kicking and the dog walks by and they’re all smiles, “Oh, doggie!”  This being totally themselves shows their connection to their tender soft spot, or as we might say, their center or soul is quite visible.  They remind me that each of us has an indestructible tender soft spot – an inner self or basic goodness and we can know this about ourselves and others.  One way to experience this tender soft spot or your center is to ask yourself what is that you do that when you are doing it, life is experienced as not being a problem.  That when you are doing this activity, you feel centered, whole, happy, at one with yourself and the world.  When I ask this question in Sunday School classes including the young adult class we started this year, the answers include journaling, bass fishing, taking a warm shower, soaking in a hot bubble bath with candles around, walking in nature, playing golf, being with family and friends, dancing, meditating or praying, listening to special music, finding quiet time over a cup of coffee, being totally absorbed in a good book, knitting or crocheting or sewing, digging in the garden.  What is it that you do, that when you are doing it, your experience is that life is not a problem.  When that happens, I believe, we are connected to our inner self, the core of our being, our soul.

 We also know that life brings experiences, thoughts that are painful and unsatisfying.  In the problem area when that happens, the  person isn’t connecting with their strengths, resources, and confidences.  Whatever they are doing to try to solve the problem is somehow making it worse.  This suggests that they have lost connection to their center, to their own ways of knowing, to the place where they can feel renewed, resourceful, and confident.
 That one’s center is lost does not mean, however, that it is absent.  You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.  In other words, your attention can move away from your center, but your center always remains right where it is.

 One of the best pieces of evidence for the active presence of a person’s soul or center is the emotional pain a person is experiencing.  The experience of a symptom carries a core experience of pain in the body.  This pain marks the spot and reveals the presence of the center.  This pain may not have words; it may not have any acknowledgment at all, but it exists.  In therapy we assume that such suffering is part of a “waking up” process: life is always moving through the tender soft spot, helping the person to awaken more fully to her or his own goodness and to the goodness of the world.  Attempts to ignore or violate the tender soft spot create suffering.  Like when we do not listen to the inner voice telling us to go to the doctor, or telling us it’s time to let go.  Like when we act like a Hitler and try to make the inner voice fall into line “You will work two jobs and be a superwoman!”  And so we ignore the inner voice of wisdom telling us to slow down, set limits, learn to say no. When the suffering is properly attended to, it will bring transformation and growth (Gilligan, 1997).

 Sometimes we need help with this process and go to a therapist or counselor whose job it is to help the client hear their inner self leading them in a new direction.  Sometimes we can do it for ourselves.  Maybe you remember the story of Helen Keller.  As a very young child she lost her hearing and sight.  She could not speak or make sense of her world.  Finally her teacher, Annie Sullivan, helped her to make the connection between things and words which represent those things.  Before Annie Sullivan, Helen was like a wild animal, maybe you’ve seen The Miracle Worker, and if you haven’t maybe it would be a good video to watch.  Because each of us has parts of ourselves that are not fully human.  We each have parts of ourselves that are unnamed, unclaimed, unintegrated.  Like Helen, we need someone to help sponsor them.  Maybe it’s our anger, or rage that needs sponsorship; needs to learn how to be expressed in healthy, helpful ways.    And so the challenge may be to become our own Annie Sullivan, a teacher and sponsor to the Helen Keller parts of ourselves – the parts that are untamed.  We can be the teacher or sponsor that we need in order to reconnect with our soul, our center.  One way to do this is to be intentional and compassion to places in our life where we suffer.  It may be a painful memory or experience.  It may be a strained relationship.  It may be certain beliefs or interpretations about events.  And so instead of avoiding the pain, we can experiment with being with the pain.

 Step one.  Let yourself feel your center.  You can usually get into your center by breathing deeply.  Just taking some slow, deep breaths, and placing your attention in your belly, or heart area and breathe into that place.  It may help to think about something that you identified earlier as that activity that you do that helps you feel like life is not a problem.  You get centered in your mind and in your body and breathe into that place.  Your mind is connected to what you are doing, not wandering off somewhere to the Cowboys game.  The discipline is to bring it back to the breath, to the moment.  A great saint was asked the secret to his staying present to himself and others.  He replied, “I abandon myself a hundred, no a thousand times each day.  The secret is to keep coming back.”  Homecoming is coming back to the present moment, back to your center, back to paying attention to what is happening within yourself and the world around you, and with other people.

 Step two is think about a problem area in your life.  It could be an inner problem like low self-esteem, it might be a problem at work or with a family member, it could be a health problem, a feeling like depression or loneliness, or grief.  Now gently touch that problem area with your heart and your mind as though you are Annie Sullivan, the teacher who helps this child part of you who doesn’t understand.  Quite often I tell parents of two year olds that they have to provide the safe container for the child to push up against to experience limits.  The child experiences a feeling of safety when they can test the limits and the parents can hold the boundary in a strong yet loving way.  Our Hope For Hurting Hearts Bereavement group helps hold a safe and sacred space for individuals to do their grief work.  For a child who is pushing, testing, wanting and needing to know that there is an adult in charge, and that they, the child is not.  Can you imagine how terrifying to be two years old and running the household?  That is scaring the heck out of that child, and so they act wilder and wilder, scairder and scairder seeking someone to be in charge.  And so it is with us – our Helen Keller parts – the parts that feel unloved, unheard, unexpressed are seeking someone up there, out there who can help.  The difficulty is that we tend to want to give them a lecture, or even worse a sermon. So if I say to my frightened self,  “Now, Sandra, you know there is no reason to be afraid to stand up here and preach.  You’ve been preaching for years, and you have been trained in a good seminary, and you’ve listened to thousands of good sermons (well, hundreds), and so you just need to straighten up and act right and stand up here and preach!”  No, the soul, the center, may we call it the child within, does not, DOES NOT respond to lectures or sermons.  She responds to a felt sense of the presence of an Annie Sullivan.  Remember, her teacher had to touch her; let her hand feel the water and her teacher had to go over and over it again and again patiently until she got it.

 So what I am suggesting this morning, is that in addition to the cognitive self, we have a soul which is a place of knowing and responding effectively in the world.  When a relationship to this center is lost, problems develop.  When a person reconnects with the center, new experiences, understandings, and behaviors may emerge (Gilligan, 1997).

 Jesus took a child and put the child by his side, and said to his disciples, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me.”  Observing a child is one of the ways we can understand what being in our center, our soul, is like.  A friend of mine is the Professor of Ethics and United Methodist Studies at Perkins School of Theology.  She was quoting scripture to her three year old daughter as she put her to bed, “What the Lord requires of me is do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with my God.”  Anna replied to her Mother, “What the Lord requires of me is to sing and dance and for you to play with me!”

 I loved the P.S. on a Christmas card I received, “Let us be as children who live in the moment and laugh at the silliest things.”  I think when we can do that, we will experience a great homecoming!